5 things you need in your relationship today.


February 21, 2016

Quick question - what's the last thing you said to your spouse? 

Was it positive or negative? Words of love? Or a complaint?

What are you putting over their life? If you think your marriage sucks, big surprise, we have no doubt it does! 

Michael Hyatt recently sent out, Why Speaking Well of Your Spouse is So Important, and we believe him. Here are the 5 things you need in your relationship today:

1. You Get More of What You Affirm

I have a horrible spouse. We'll give you a hint, they're not going to get any better with that thinking. If you complain a lot, focus on the negative, and nit pick, that is what you'll notice all the time. It'll poison your relationships, all of them. Not just your spouse, but your kids, colleagues, friends, etc. 

It pays to be positive. Notice the good things and affirm them. If you say, "I love the way you do your hair like that" or "you look great in that shirt", start to notice how often they'll change their habits based on your words. Call them out. Tell them the things that you love they do. Acknowledging your spouse is huge in terms of reinforcing the behavior and getting more of what you like.

2. Affirmation Shifts Your Attitude

Words are powerful tools. They can create, or they can destroy. They can build up, or they can tear down. Most people have a drive to align their actions—and their attitudes—with their words. If you start speaking well of someone, you start believing what you say.

We have a choice as we go through life. We can notice the positive or stew in the negative. If we focus on the positive, it will eventually bring our attitude into alignment.

3. Affirmation Strengthens Your Spouse’s Best Qualities

All of us need positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is a force for good. Why else would we have coaches for everything from health to life? A little encouragement from people who notice can keep us going. This is true in every area of life.

Your spouse has great qualities. Don't forget it. 

Not everyone was meant to be handy around the house or a great cook but everyone has one quality or another. Maybe your spouse is kind. Or considerate. Or perseverant. Affirm those qualities, and they’ll only get stronger. Think about what that means: By affirming your spouse, you’re helping them become all they were created to be.

4. Affirmation Wards off Temptation

The costs of an affair are devastating. Your reputation, family, friendships, job, finances, emotional health, legacy, even your soul—they can all go right out the window.

But when others see you are happily married, they are less likely to proposition you. It’s clear you’re not discontent or trolling, looking for another partner, fling, or whatever.

Affirming your spouse is like a hedge that protects your marriage from would-be predators. It will keep you out of compromising positions. Talk about your spouse publicly, positively, and often. It’s adultery repellent.

5. Affirmation Provides a Model to Those You Lead

To be a truly effective leader, you must lead yourself, and then you must lead your family. Your marriage is a powerful visual of how you treat the people you value the most.

When you speak highly of your spouse, your followers are more likely to trust you. But if, on the other hand, they hear you complaining about your spouse, guess what they begin to wonder?

How are you talking to your spouse? 

Change your thinking and change your life. Your life, wife, husband, kids will thank you. 

Read the full Michael Hyatt article here.



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